“I Don’t Need a Caregiver!”: Tips to Help an Elderly Parent Refusing Care

Learn how an older adult may retaliate when you recommend an in-home caregiver.

Although many older adults adapt quickly when a new caregiver comes into the home, and begin to thrive and enjoy a higher quality of life, there are some seniors who may continue to feel threatened. What do you do if your elderly parent is refusing care? At Hired Hands Homecare, providers of elder care in Marin, we’re sensitive to the feelings of each senior we serve and are experienced in helping to ease concerns and restore peace. 

A senior who feels the need to convince his or her family that a caregiver is simply not necessary may implement one of these common tactics:

1. Becoming argumentative. Frustrations at being perceived as incapable of self-care may display as an increase in arguments, even over seemingly trivial matters. It’s important to understand the underlying sense that the senior needs to prove his or her ability to remain in control and in charge.
2. Making unsafe decisions. An older adult who is encouraged to rest and allow someone else to handle a task that may now be unsafe, such as climbing a ladder to replace a lightbulb, may do just the opposite to show that he or she is still capable of activities such as this, which could lead to a fall and serious injury.
3. Distancing from loved ones. An elderly parent refusing care may display irritation through becoming standoffish and declining necessary support from family members. For instance, an adult child who typically accompanies the senior to medical appointments may now be banned by the senior from entering the exam room.
4. Hiding activities. If an agreement has been made for the senior to restrict driving, for example, he or she may continue to drive when no one is around, keeping these activities secret from family. Another example is refusing to adhere to a diabetic diet, eating unhealthily in private.

The truth is, no one wants to feel as though they’re unable to meet their own day-to-day needs, or that they’re in a state of decline. It’s crucial to validate the important role our loved ones continue to play in our lives, and let them know often that they are valued and needed. Several ways to accomplish this include:

• Ask the senior for advice.
• Enlist the senior’s help in meaningful tasks.
• Spend plenty of time listening to and engaging in conversations with the senior.
• Reminisce about ways the senior has impacted your life.

A professional caregiver from Hired Hands Homecare, the top providers of elder care in Marin and the surrounding areas, will understand the many emotions seniors experience and the ways in which those emotions may present, and is trained and experienced in helping restore a sense of self-worth and enjoyment in life.

Contact our senior care experts at (866) 940-4343 for additional tips and resources to pave the way to a smoother journey through aging! We offer a free in-home consultation to answer any questions you may have and to recommend a plan of care to address the particular needs of your loved one.