For Better or Worse: Providing Care for an Aging Parent Without Sacrificing Your Marriage

Providing care for an aging parent can either strengthen or strain your marriage.

In marriage we agree to stick with each other for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness as well as in health – but what doesn’t come up through our vows to one another is how to deal with the mounting difficulties of providing care for an aging parent. 

However, with our life span increasing, it is highly recommended to put together a strategy to meet both the requirements of our parents as they grow older, and also the multitude of day-to-day needs, all while honoring our cherished relationship with a spouse. It’s a struggle that’s creating stress and pressure for 80% of couples interviewed, resulting in detachment and much less quality time with each other. These particular areas in a married relationship are specifically impacted by caregiving for a senior loved one:

• Finances. Still holding the top spot when it comes to the reason reported for divorce, fiscal pressure is amplified if the senior has not implemented an economic plan for long-term care. Truthfully discussing irritations with one another and working together to examine options to afford services will help.
• Exhaustion. As worthwhile as it may be, meeting the needs of an elderly family member necessitates a great deal of time and effort – leaving very little left over at the end of your day for your spouse. Welcome the help of others or employ professional in-home senior care assistance, so you can be sure to allow for quality time with your husband or wife.
• Frustration. Growing frustration and decreased patience are two common side effects of exhaustion, and unfortunately, we have a tendency to lash out at those we love the most when feeling overwhelmed. Tolerate imperfection, practice understanding, and seek professional help if needed.

So how else could you try to avoid these pitfalls and sustain a solid and balanced marriage? These tips will help:

• Make sure your spouse is always a high priority. Small gestures can do a lot towards this end, such as writing a handwritten note of love and gratitude, waking up a few minutes early to share a cup of coffee together before the day gets stressful, or setting aside time at the end of the day to talk and unwind.
• Signing up for an online support group for family caregivers can give you the opportunity to share stress with those in related circumstances, alleviating stress.
• Seek out the services of a certified counselor, either for your needs separately or for the two of you as a couple.

Another great way to achieve a healthier life balance is by partnering with a reliable in-home care provider, like Hired Hands Homecare. As the leading provider of San Rafael home care and care throughout the surrounding areas, we provide customized respite care solutions that enable loved ones to take time away from caregiving. This provides the added benefit of offering older adults the chance for enhanced socialization with a helpful and well-trained caregiver. Contact us online or give us a call at (866) 940-4343 to learn more about our senior care options today!