What to Do When a Parent Refuses Care

When a parent refuses care, these tips can help you come to a resolution.

Let’s say you’re starting to notice some warning signs that cause you to worry about Dad’s ability to continue to take care of himself. Perhaps he’s struggling to maintain the home the way he always has. Or maybe he had a close call while driving that could have caused injury to himself or another person. Maybe he just seems more disoriented lately. Whatever the reason, you’ve decided to talk with him about home care services. The problem is, he refuses to even entertain the idea. What are you to do when a parent refuses care that they desperately need?

If you’re at an impasse on how to proceed, these ideas can be helpful.

• Let him know you’re in this together. Digging in your heels and trying to force the issue of care at home is a surefire way to create conflict. You may have differing opinions, but be careful not to let those differences create a divide. Take time to respectfully listen to your parent’s perspective, and focus on any areas of common ground the two of you share.
• Be patient. It very often will require more than one conversation for an older adult to accept the idea of in-home care. After all, it is a big life change, and may feel threatening to the person’s sense of independence, freedom, and control. Shelve the discussion if it becomes upsetting to either of you, and then revisit it again later.
• Come up with a compromise. Dad may be resistant to the prospect of a “caregiver,” but would he be open to having an assistant on hand to help with organizing files, for example? Or having some help at home with housekeeping, doing laundry, and preparing meals?

Of course, if safety is a concern, you will want to talk with your parent’s doctor for direction. Oftentimes, receiving a recommendation from a trusted professional carries more weight than from a family member. The doctor may also relieve your concerns by offering an alternative solution, such as modifying the home or making changes to their medication regimen to reduce the risk of a fall.

At Hired Hands Homecare, we customize our care solutions according to each person’s specific needs and wishes. We would be happy to sit down and talk with you and your parent about the many different ways we can offer support while promoting independence.

Contact us at (866) 940-4343 to schedule a free in-home planning meeting to learn more about our home care services in Novato, Napa, Santa Rosa, and throughout the Bay Area.